I don’t think that anyone is immune to difficult relationships. It can be a parent, a sibling, a boss. And for many of us, it is a love relationship, although we cannot believe it.
The lyrics for Control Me came about because of a combination, but mostly out of the frustration with my ex-wife.
It’s taken a long time to get comfortable simple stating how I feel. It goes against my grain to speak poorly of someone, and when I decide to speak out, it can be scathing. I try to be a better man than that.
It doesn’t always work.
While tapping and singing the bass and melody lines to this song in my car, the opening lines came out like a summer storm, “I don’t know why I even try, my words do not make it through.” I knew instantly what I was about to write.
It was the way I had felt for decades, literally.
Why speak up to say how you feel, to defend yourself, to prove something, if the other person never really accepts, or worse, never really hears the words you say. In the end, when that occurs, it is all about control.
Control of the situation. Control of the narrative. Control of you.
So, after singing some “da’da’da’da” words in the melody line, I got to the chorus area and stopped the recording on my iphone. It was about to come out, but I had NO IDEA how hard it would feel.
I actually yelled, top of my lungs, in my car, in Orlando, FL, “You gotta control me! You gotta control me! You have a goal to steal my soul! Yeah, you gotta control me!”
And that, as they say, is that.